


Self-Indulgent Garbage

by dayoldcupcake



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 09:35:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13878129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dayoldcupcake/pseuds/dayoldcupcake
Summary: A collection of drabbles and prompts.Chapter 1, "Happy White Day, Hitoka"Yachi can't handle love confessions so Hinata and Kageyama handle them for her.





	Self-Indulgent Garbage

**Author's Note:**

> Pairing: KageHinaYachi
> 
> Rating: G
> 
> Words: 1065
> 
> Summary: Yachi can't handle love confessions so Hinata and Kageyama handle them for her.

“Kageyama!  Hinata!” Yachi is panting, doubled over from exhaustion, her hands on her knees.  Kageyama pauses mid-toss and eyes her wearily; she looks even more anxious than usual.  “A boy,“ she explains between gasps for air, “Date— me— wants— ran away— I ran away—“

“Huh?” Hinata asks, cocking his head to the side.  He’s already beside her and bent down to meet her eyes.  “What’s wrong Hitoka?”

“A boy asked you out?” Kageyama asks.  Yachi nods. “You ran away?” Yachi nods again.  She collects herself and stands back up, but they can see she’s still shaking.

“Why dija run away?” Hinata asks.  “Is he ugly?”

“No!” she shouts, burying her face in her heads.  “He’s fine!  But!  I don’t want to!  But I can’t say no!  What if he gets violent?”

“I’ll go deal with him,” Kageyama says, and he’s already walking away.

“Me too!” Hinata announces, then he too disappears.

“Wa—wait!” Yachi yells, stumbling after them both.  “Please don’t kill him!!”

The poor boy sees Kageyama and Hinata coming and looks about ready to piss himself.  His eyes dart around wildly, desperately searching for an escape, but he doesn’t move.  “I didn’t touch her!” he squawks pathetically, cowering.

“She’s not interested,” Kageyama says.  His voice only has a slight edge to it, and his expression isn’t much scarier than usual, but the boy nods frantically and scrambles off as though Kageyama had just threatened to tear out his windpipe.

“Jeez, was that really necessary?” Hinata asks, laughing hard.  “You almost killed him with your face!”

“Oh my god,” Yachi squeals, “He’s going to send the yakuza after me in revenge!”

“No he won’t,” Kageyama says, sounding bored.

“And if he does—“ Hinata says, ignoring Kageyama insisting again that _‘he definitely won’t’_ —“We’ll protect you!”

***

After a second boy asks Yachi out, Hinata devises a brilliant plan to shield her from further confessions.  It starts off as an inside joke as much as an arrangement of convenience; they’ll tell everyone that she’s already in a relationship—with both him _and_ Kageyama.

It helps that Kageyama has a reputation for being terrifying, and that after Kageyama had started dating Hinata, the entire school learned _exactly_ how terrifying he could be.  Whenever Hinata’s friends dared touch or hug him, Kageyama could sense it and was there in an instant, hovering by the doorway of class 1-4 like some vengeful demon.  Hinata finally got him to stop after countless lectures on boundaries but the fear still lingered.  

“Sorry man,” Hinata says to the third boy who asks Yachi out.  He swings an arm around her shoulders and narrows his eyes.  “You may have heard?  She’s already taken.”

“Aren’t you dating Kageyama?” the boy asks.

“Yah, so?” Hinata challenges  “We’re dating each other and we’re dating Hitoka too.  It’s called poly-a-mory.  Look it up, stupid!”

The boy, one of Yachi’s classmates in 1-1, looks shocked and deeply insulted to have just been called stupid by one of the dumbest students in all of Karasuno, someone who can’t even pronounce _polyamory_ correctly.  “Fine, whatever,” he mutters, shuffling away from this new low point.

Hinata cackles and doesn’t remove his arm from Yachi.  After that, she stops getting love confessions.

Nobody questions their story; Yachi spends too much time with the two of them between study sessions and volleyball practice for anyone to doubt the authenticity of their thruple.  Occasionally, as thanks for all of her help as a tutor and manager, they take her out to dinner or accompany her shopping and keep her safe from shady strangers.  When Valentine’s Day rolls around, she presents them both with homemade chocolates, but she gives them to the rest of the volleyball club too.  True, Kageyama and Hinata’s chocolates are nicer than the obligation chocolates received by the others, but it makes sense; she’s simply better friends with them.

The point is, nobody second-guesses them.

***

White Day is approaching, and Kageyama and Hinata pool their staggeringly minimal brainpower and equally deficient funds to plan a special surprise for their best friend, favorite club manager, and academic savior.  They bicker for two hours before agreeing on taking her to a rabbit café that specializes in cutesy sweets because ‘girls like cute things, right?’.

Everything goes according to plan and Yachi seems mightily impressed with them, but then Kageyama leaves to pay the bill and Hinata gets distracted by an especially silky, black rabbit and a young man sitting two tables over takes the opportunity to swoop in on Yachi.

“Your friends seem nice,” he says, resting one hand on the back of her chair and leaning in close enough that Yachi can feel his breath on her nose.  She whimpers and leans away until she’s nearly horizontal with the floor.

“Boyfriends,” Kageyama corrects, hovering behind the man like something out of the nightmares of convicted serial killers.

“Sorry,” the man says, eyes widening.  He backs away with impressive speed.

Hinata returns then, the black rabbit cradled against his chest and a barely-concealed shit-eating grin on his face.  “I know that look,” he sing-songs.

“What look?” Kageyama asks, irritated.

“You’re jealous!” Hinata shouts, nearly squealing with restrained laughter.  “Hitoka, he’s _seriously_ jealous right now!”

“Don’t be stupid,” Kageyama mutters.  He’s trying to look angry but can’t hide the pink tinge from his cheeks.

“It’s okay, Yama,” Hinata says, grinning openly now.  “I get pissed off when other guys hit on her too.”

“You do?” Yachi asks.  She sounds nervous, but there’s something else there too.

“You’re _ours_ ,” Kageyama mumbles, averting his eyes.  “To—to protect, I mean.”

“Sorry Hitoka,” Hinata adds, still smiling.  “Were you interested in that guy?”

“No,” Yachi answers very quickly.  Then, in a very small voice, she adds, “I like when you two protect me.”  She flushes red and pretends to get distracted by the rabbit in Hinata’s arms.

“Great!” Hinata says, taking one of her hands in his.  Kageyama still isn’t looking at either of them but he takes Yachi’s other hand.  “Happy White Day, Hitoka,” Hinata says, kissing her on the cheek.

“What he said,” Kageyama mumbles, awkwardly patting her on the head.

It’s not uncommon for Yachi to have multiple panic attacks during a single walk home, especially down the busy streets of Sendai at night amid drunken salarymen, but tonight she’s at ease, smiling even, because she’s got Hinata and Kageyama there to protect her.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I accept prompts & requests too!
> 
> Tumblr - dayoldcupcake


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